Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Jokes
Jul 18, 2021 16:20:12 GMT 1
Post by Deleted on Jul 18, 2021 16:20:12 GMT 1
Clip clip clip. Clop clop clop. Clip clip clip - SOS in horse code.
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Jokes
Jul 18, 2021 17:15:06 GMT 1
Veem likes this
Post by Crystal on Jul 18, 2021 17:15:06 GMT 1
Clip clip clip. Clop clop clop. Clip clip clip - SOS in horse code. No, in my world it's horse code for "I'm very lame - call the vet...now!"
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curtis
Member
Charente Maritime
Posts: 339
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Jokes
Jul 20, 2021 11:34:19 GMT 1
Post by curtis on Jul 20, 2021 11:34:19 GMT 1
Je suis allé me promener avec ma nouvelle copine et nous
avons vu des chiens s'accoupler.
Elle a dit :
Comment le mâle sait-il quand la femelle est prête pour le sexe ?
J'ai répondu :
Il peut sentir qu'elle est prête.
C'est comme ça que la nature fonctionne.
Nous sommes ensuite passés devant un champ où il y avait des moutons
et le bélier était en train de s''accoupler avec la brebis.
Ma petite amie m'a demandé à nouveau : comment le bélier
savait-il que la brebis était prête pour le sexe ?
J'ai répondu :
C'est la nature. Il peut sentir qu'elle est prête.
Nous sommes ensuite passés devant un pré où il y avait des vaches
et le taureau s'accouplait avec une vache.
Ma copine m'a dit :
C'est bizarre.
Ils en sont tous là.
Le taureau ne peut sûrement pas sentir quand elle est prête.
Je lui ai dit :
Écoute, c'est la nature.
Tous les animaux peuvent sentir quand la femelle est prête pour le sexe.
Après la promenade, je l'ai déposée chez elle et je lui ai dit au revoir.
Elle m'a dit :
Prends soin de toi et fais-toi faire le test du Covid-19.
Surpris, je lui ai demandé :
Pourquoi t'exprimes-tu comme ça ?
Elle a répondu :
Je crois que tu as perdu ton odorat...*
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Deleted
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Jokes
Jul 20, 2021 17:20:02 GMT 1
FFS likes this
Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2021 17:20:02 GMT 1
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Jul 24, 2021 11:21:20 GMT 1
My grandad fought hard in WWII and he would be proud of what the current government has done for Britain. Mind you, he was in the Waffen-SS.
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Nifty
Member
Posts: 3,752
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Jokes
Jul 25, 2021 8:24:59 GMT 1
Post by Nifty on Jul 25, 2021 8:24:59 GMT 1
Bit tedious perhaps
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FFS
Member
As usual, in front of my laptop when I'm here
Posts: 2,797
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Jokes
Jul 28, 2021 17:19:32 GMT 1
Post by FFS on Jul 28, 2021 17:19:32 GMT 1
A Glasgow joke, according to Bill Bryson, who says "It's not a very good one, but I like it".
A policeman collars a thief at the corner of Sauchiehall and Dalhousie, then drags him by the hair for a hundred yards to Rose Rose Street to book him.
'Oi, why'd 'ye do tha'?' asks the aggrieved culprit, rubbing his head.
'Because I can spell Rose Street, ye thieving c**t,' says the policeman.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Jokes
Jul 29, 2021 13:19:14 GMT 1
via mobile
houpla likes this
Post by Deleted on Jul 29, 2021 13:19:14 GMT 1
The pack says it's 4 million year old Himalayan Rock Salt. Use by August 2021. Looks like they dug it up just in time.
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Grunkle
Member
Sent from my laptop using all my fingers
Posts: 14
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Post by Grunkle on Jul 30, 2021 13:04:12 GMT 1
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FFS
Member
As usual, in front of my laptop when I'm here
Posts: 2,797
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Jokes
Jul 30, 2021 16:39:13 GMT 1
Post by FFS on Jul 30, 2021 16:39:13 GMT 1
That's not chez exile, is it?
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Deleted
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Jokes
Jul 31, 2021 16:36:58 GMT 1
FFS likes this
Post by Deleted on Jul 31, 2021 16:36:58 GMT 1
There was a family of moles.
They decided to leave their burrow to smell the spring air. The father mole poked his head out first and sniffed, "I smell lavender." he says. The mother mole poked her head out as well and said "You're right dear, I smell it too." Their son couldn't fit through the burrow entrance and said "Well, all i smell is molasses."
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Jokes
Aug 4, 2021 9:49:35 GMT 1
Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2021 9:49:35 GMT 1
Janet Street Porter went into a bar and asked, "Can I get a large aperitif?"
"I doubt it", says the barman.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Jokes
Aug 7, 2021 13:32:28 GMT 1
Post by Deleted on Aug 7, 2021 13:32:28 GMT 1
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Jokes
Aug 7, 2021 23:19:00 GMT 1
Post by Deleted on Aug 7, 2021 23:19:00 GMT 1
I paid a joiner up front to build me a king-size bed but he's done a bunk.
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exile
Member
Massif Central
Posts: 2,179
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Jokes
Aug 8, 2021 0:46:44 GMT 1
FFS likes this
Post by exile on Aug 8, 2021 0:46:44 GMT 1
Nay, thy won’t find it on t’internet lad..... Funny but I've never heard Yorkshire spoken like that. Tha' needs to pop down t'road to Barnsley lad.
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